The Calculator
by panddora
Summary: Could a dull morning meeting and a calculator finally bring them together? Sparky.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing… but Atlantis would be a lovely present… hint Santa

Chapter One;

"… time and time again crowds of people have literally _thronged_ around me offering their "delicacies", which may I say are **_abysmal_** even by Atlantis' cafeteria standards. Lord knows how I've made it this long. Reactions to citrus fruits are one of the most common problems hospitals encounter. Only last year…" Rodney continued, his seemingly endless supply of criticisms' flowing so fast John was surprised he had to time to breathe.

Glancing sideways John watched Elizabeth nodding almost systematically in Rodney's direction; possibly the only one even making an attempt to show interest. He counted the seconds between each incline of her head.

She was automatically nodding every 10 seconds. _Yup. _So even Elizabeth wasn't listening. John noticed one lock of hair was slowly sliding further towards the front of her face. Every nod of her head brought it closer to falling. He watched, captivated by the single strand of hair. He suddenly realised with a start that she was smiling at him. Flushing slightly, he smiled back then looked down at the table.

"_Sheesh. How long had she been watching him?"_

After a moment's recovery, John turned his attention to the rest of the team seated around the table. Carson looked absorbed by his nails; flexing his fingers absentmindedly. Teyla sat, her back straight; staring at an unknown spot on the opposite wall. Ronon looked as though he were weighing up whether to throw the faded leather ball he held grasped in between his fingers or just swipe the head off the owner of the seemingly unstoppable voice that was Rodney Mackay.

John now looked at the file that sat unopened in front of him. Apparently Stargate Command couldn't afford to send paracetamol, but thought it necessary to equip every member of the Atlantis team with a mathematics supply kit. Elizabeth had distributed one to each of them minutes before the meeting began; all eager to learn of the files' contents. She put an end to their individual hopes and broke the bad news. She was greeted with groans of disappointment and the folders still lay unopened.

"_Jeeze, Rodney's complaints have driven me to_ _this?_" John mused, unfastening the folders catch. The package consisted of several odd shaped rulers John vaguely recognised from trigonometry; rubbers; pencils; pens and a calculator. He pressed the "on" button at the top of the calculator; a familiar green glow dimly lit the screen. Continuing to press at random numbers, John was quite oblivious to the captivated faces of the remainder of the room – except of course Rodney, who had now moved on to the subject of uncomfortable seating in the dining area.

Elizabeth chuckled at John, concealing her giggles in a cough, glancing apologetically in Rodney's direction. He appeared not to have noticed - his opinions regarding the lack of cushioning on Atlantis' chairs clearly receiving all his attention. John grinned at Elizabeth, and began mouthing _"w-h-o c-a-r-e-s?"_. Elizabeth bit her lip, bowing her head to hide the grin on her face. John typed a couple of digits on to the calculator, and subtly stretched his arm across the table. The calculator beneath his hand now lay in front of Elizabeth.

"_HI" _it read,

Smiling, she typed a reply;

"_HELLO 70"_ She swiftly passed it back.

John stared, slightly confused. _What did that mean at the end?_ It took him a moment to realise. Oh! _"Jon"_ Laughing quietly, he wrote again.

"_H0W r 00" _A nudge of his elbow, and the calculator slid across the table's surface.

Teyla, Ronon and Carson watched in amusement as the two ranking officers passed calculator notes like school teenagers at the back of a classroom.

"_G0.U" _Again, the communication device was deftly pushed back. Several minutes later, and John was running out of words that were possible to type on a calculator. Thinking back to his childhood, he tried to recall some of the weirder functions you could press to get different letters on the screen. And then he remembered…

He pushed in the commands - then deleted it again. He wasn't sure whether he should be saying this to his leader. One puzzled look from Elizabeth cleared his doubts, and he retyped;

"_U r S3xi3"_

Sitting next to John, Carson's eyes widened as he read the message. He then turned to watch Elizabeth's reaction almost as closely as John was. Gritting his teeth, John prepared himself for a firm telling off about his inappropriate comments.

Elizabeth's face lit up and she beamed at John.

"_U r 2" _

Carson' eyes widened further than he had thought medically possible.

A wicked grin made its way across John's mouth causing Elizabeth to blush a light red. John's heart started to beat a little faster, pleased at the emotions he was so easily evoking in her.

Annoyed at the pleasure John was having at seeing her so clearly embarrassed, she retrieved the calculator and began to type again…

TBC...

_I know I'm not the world's best writer, far from it in fact, but please review! I want to improve so please criticize etc. Go on… push the lil' button…_


	2. Child Play

Last chapter 

"_U r S3xi3"_

Elizabeth's face lit up and she beamed at John. Her bony fingers immediately started tapping away at the buttons once again;

"_U r 2" _

Carson' eyes widened further than he had thought medically possible.

A wicked grin made its way across John's mouth causing Elizabeth to blush a light red. John's heart started to beat a little faster, pleased at the emotions he was so easily evoking.

Annoyed at the pleasure John was having at seeing her so clearly embarrassed, she deftly retrieved the calculator before the colonel could, and began to type again…

* * *

_And now…_

She sent the calculator spinning across the table. It lightly bumped against John's arm, who immediately spun it round to face him;

"N1cE A55"

He licked his lips absentmindedly, his cheeks growing hot at the sight of Elizabeth's raised eyebrow in reply.

_This was going a little too far… he didn't want any awkward situations; he loved Elizabeth – as a friend, anyway, he quickly added… Na, they were adults! Who was he kidding? It was just a little fun… _

"…and you know what?" Rodney's voice suddenly re-tuned itself to John and Elizabeth's listening frequency. "…I get the distinct impression no one here is actually listening to me!"

John stared blankly at an angry looking Rodney Mckay, who had been, just moments ago, approaching the climax of his "anti-cafeteria-chairs" rant. Elizabeth recovered quickly, creasing her eyebrows into a "this-is-a-serious-matter" type frown.

"I completely agree Rodney. I will contact the Daedalus and request new chair cushions to be delivered as quickly as possible" She nodded, a faint smile across her lips.

Rodney looked momentarily surprised at Elizabeth's quick reply, for he had been almost certain she and Sheppard had been up to something. _Ah well, he must have been mistaken after all…_

"Anything else, Rodney?" John asked innocently.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact. I was just going to briefly mention this one to Carson later on, but now that you're all here…" Rodney paused, briefly concerned at the possibility he was taking up perhaps a little too much of the allotted meeting time dedicated to "Other Issues".

This reflection was swiftly ignored, and he continued as before;

"On many occasions I have found myself limping through cross-fire, struggling through damp forestry and endless fields, the pain often too great to bare. But I have pushed aside these waves of nausea; grinned and bared the excruciating hurt – if not for me, then for my team-" Carson leant forwards, bemused at how such an injury could have escaped his notice.

Rodney raised his hand to his forehead, unintentionally mimicking the pain he had no doubt suffered "…Yes! The insoles of my combat boots are _unbearable!_" He stressed, a look of wild disgust plastered across his face mirrored exactly the high regard in which he held this crisis.

"HA!" Carson spurted out, cramming a fist into his mouth to muffle any further hysterics. Rodney gave him a quizzical look, irritated at this untimely interruption. Elizabeth too, turned away, heading towards a nearby window as if in thought, concealing fits of laughter in a sudden outburst of coughing.

John stared open mouthed at Earth's leading scientist, unable to comprehend how anything so trivial – so minutely interesting – could be of such concern to this universal genius. Ronon and Teyla's expressions, however, made up for what the other's wholly unsympathetic ones lacked.

_In- souls? This sounded painful indeed. Why were they laughing at what was so obviously a disaster? In-souls… Wraith technology by the sounds of things…The poor doctor, we must help._

Returning to the table, Elizabeth's gaze fell upon the two warriors; both looking a little confused, but nonetheless sympathising with Rodney.

"Teyla, Ronon. Insoles are the cushioning found on the base of a shoe…" Elizabeth explained, grinning. It took a moment to grasp, but eventually both sets of eyebrows rose as they simultaneously turned towards Rodney, then back again.

"What!" they spoke in unison.

_10 minutes later_

"Yes Rodney, now run along and soak your poor injured feet for a few hours. Goodness knows the battering they've taken after having to walk to this meeting!"

"Shep-" John closed the door, Rodney's retaliation cut short. _He'd continue this argument later._

The remainder of his team and Carson, had too, left. Running his hand through his hair, he turned his attention back to Elizabeth.

"_Yeah, you let that one go too far, Elizabeth". _She sighed inwardly, reflecting on the "conversation" she had shared with Sheppard. He was her best friend, and the carefully constructed walls she'd spent so long building were close to crumbling. And yet, as she looked at his flyboy grin, Elizabeth couldn't help but wonder if the risk she had forbidden herself from taking, could - in the end - be worth it. She smiled back at him, and then leaned forward to retrieve the calculator.

"Yoink" Johns hand swept out and deftly seized the calculator, just inches away from Elizabeth's grasp. She glared at him in mock anger.

"Ha ha – ha ha – ha h- HEY!" John cried, as a smirking Elizabeth retrieved the calculator from his outstretched hand, which, had moments before, been waving the prize tantalisingly close to her face.

"Mwaha. Victory is mine John Sheppard. Don't be so cocky" Elizabeth laughed, sitting down at her desk. John sniggered. Following her inadvertently, he looked for a nearby chair. Finding none, he cleared a space on the desk before sliding himself on top of it, still smirking.

"What was that snigger for Colonel?" Elizabeth questioned, opening the first report that lay before her. John shook his head, dismissing the subject.

"Well, what was it?" She asked again, oblivious to dismissal.

"Well!" repeated a confused Elizabeth, raising her head from the report. She thought back to what she had just said; "Oh! Really, you are _pathetic_! The leading military figure…" She shook her head in disgust, "Sometimes I think you are possibly as immature as Rodney. Laughing at the word "Cocky"?" She paused in disbelief. "You're a kid, John Sheppard."

John mimicked pain, "Hey, call me what you want, throw a punch, kick my shins, beam me to a passing hive ship, but I resent being compared to McKay."

"Which reminds me, haven't you got an argument to finish with Rodney?" She asked, swiftly moving the conversation on, hopefully towards an ending.

"Trying to get rid of me are you, Miss. Weir"

"Yes, I am" She nodded, shunting several reports along the desk, nudging Sheppard in the back.

"Sure you don't want a hand with these?" He asked, nodding towards the pile of reports.

"No, I think I'm ok thank you, Colonel"

"Right…and-" he jumped off the desk, tapping her on the shoulder" "You're it"

"I'm what?" She asked, raising her head once again from her reports.

"You know; it, tag. Now you have to chase me"

"Oh get out" she laughed. And with that, he was gone. Picking her pen up, she started reading the report for the third time. Three lines in, and she had taken nothing in. Elizabeth sighed, her mind floating back to the conversation they'd just shared. Allowing heself a few seconds reflection, she returned again to the report, this time determined to make progress.

* * *

Hey, yeah, haven't updated this in a while! Wrote it pretty quickly, so sorry for any grammar points... Pandi xx 


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